Forbidden Love (Needle's Kiss Book 3) Read online

  “Whoa now, sparky,” Scarlett greeted from where she sat behind the front counter. The smell of antiseptic and sounds of the tattoo guns buzzing were oddly calming. “Who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?” She pushed away from the counter and came to the sofa, sliding in beside me.

  “Stupid boys and their stunted displays of testosterone,” I grumbled.

  “Explain.” She chuckled.

  “I’m not a baby. Why do those boys keep acting like I can’t make decisions on my own?” I took a deep breath and continued my rant. “It’s like I’m five years old all over again and not allowed to walk to school. I can’t do anything for myself. I’m not a damn kid!”

  Scar’s laughter cut through my words and pulled me up short. I stared at her with confusion. “The fuck?” I shot at her.

  “You.” She laughed harder. “You just walked in here stomping your feet like a petulant child. Now you’ve got your arms crossed over your chest and you’re pouting and throwing a tantrum like a toddler, yet you want to be taken seriously?”

  My face flushed when I realized she was right. I was acting like a little brat but I was pissed the fuck off. Who were they all to tell me what I could do and who I could do it with? Jude was no different. What a pussy. Not standing up to my brothers and fighting for us. Clearly, I meant very little to him if they came first. Fine. They could do whatever they wanted. So would I!

  I went to stand up and add a nice finale to my tantrum when Scarlett put her hand on my arm and stopped me. Her face conveyed her seriousness as she pointedly told me, “You want them to stop treating you like a little brat? Stop being one. Grow up and do something about it.”

  My defenses spiked and I huffed at her. “And pray tell how the fuck am I supposed to have them take me seriously?”

  “Look around you. Take a look in the mirror Haven and ask yourself what you want. Then damn well take it!”

  “And how do you suggest I just take it?” I snapped back.

  “They’re just boys, honey,” she implored. “Boys are essentially idiots.”

  I must have shown my complete confusion because she chuckled and bestowed her wisdom on me. “Boys think with their egos and penises ninety percent of the time. You can always count on that, and the fact they’ll do anything to protect their sister or the woman they love. Stupid shit, the dumbest and most irritating things you’ve ever seen. They’ll do it. Never fail. “

  “I’m not seeing your point here on how exactly I make my life choices,” I interrupted her speech.

  “Do whatever the hell you want and don’t make apology for it. You want Jude? Make him want you. You want the boys to treat you like an adult? Be one. Without apology. Get a job. Be a big girl. Show them you’re capable of doing shit on your own and don’t back down.” She slapped her hand down on the table in front of us to accentuate her point.

  “I’ve been looking for a job for months and still I’ve had no callbacks. Nobody is hiring.”

  “I am. Teeny and Trip are both part timing to spend time with Javier now. I’ll be taking some time off soon and we need a receptionist. Just keeping track of timeframes, appointment bookings, enquiries, all that kind of crap.” She made her way around the other side of the counter and pulled out a few papers from a drawer before dumping them and a pen in my lap. “Fill this shit out. You start tomorrow. No uniform. Just don’t dress like a dirty skank and we’re golden. “

  I looked at the papers and back up at Scar’s retreating form, then back at the paperwork and my shaking hands. Tears welled up in my eyes and I sucked in a breath. Scarlett was family, yet she’d asked no questions, made no commotion about it and just gave me a job. I loved the woman like she was blood and everyday she proved why we loved her. She was the perfect balance to my pig-headed brother and his stupid antics. She was just all around loveable. There wasn’t ever a time you were near her and you didn’t smile when she did or felt the overwhelming need to take a bullet for her. She really was an angel. A little rough around the edges but an angel none the less.

  I exhaled long and shaky breaths before I got to filling out the papers in my hand. Before I knew it, Trip was walking in the front door. I quickly and as discreetly as possible scanned him for signs of being in a fight with Jude and allowed the relief to wash over me when I found no bruises, red marks or cuts. They would have traded words and left it at that. I hoped.

  “Car’ll be ready in an hour,” he grumbled at me. My defenses instantly went up. I hated when he spoke to me like that. And I wasn’t going to take it… not this time.

  “Speak to me like that again and we’ll be having a big problem, Javerio.” I glared and slapped the pen down on the table. I knew using his real name would get his back up and make him take notice. It only took a beat before his glare came down on me. I wasn’t going to shrink back through. I was an adult and he’d damn well better start treating me like one.

  “Pardon fucking me?” He stood stock-still, intimidating Trip on display. Almost like a disgruntled peacock or something. It was practically ridiculous.

  “Unpuff your chest and speak to me like I’m a human being not a child. You’re being rude and entirely assy.” I crossed my arms over my chest and held my ground. Trip did a double take and looked like he was going to stomp his foot before making a scene of heading to the back break room. Scarlett sat in her station all out laughing as he passed. His mumbled words only made her laugh harder before she looked at me with something like pride shining in her eyes. It was something I’d not really encountered before unless from Ma. Foreign and oddly satisfying, I took it and smiled at her, then placed my paperwork on the front counter.

  “See you at 9 am,” she called out. I nodded and waved as I walked out the front door and headed to the coffee shop across the road feeling quite good about myself.

  Things just might work out for me after all. Thanks largely to Scarlett’s words of encouragement, I had a little hope.

  Jude

  I walked back into the garage and punched one of the big metal tool cabinets on my way past. I sucked up the pain like a drug I couldn’t cope without. Why was she here? There was something about her that was just so alluring. I couldn’t see her without wanting to fall to my goddamn knees and worship her like she was a queen amongst peasants.

  Suck it up, you pussy! When did you acquire feelings?

  Pushing away from the doorframe at the back of the shop, I trudged outside in my heavy boots, kicking rocks as I went. I cut off my emotions as soon as I was able. I struggled to handle these kinds of feelings; they messed with my head and left me making bad decisions. Decisions that screwed with friendships, families and futures. I couldn’t have a future with her; it just wouldn’t be good for anyone.

  Sitting at the bar stool, I pulled Haven between my legs and moved my hands to run up her silky legs, stopping at the bottom of her tight black skirt. Her arms came up and circled my neck as her head came down to my face. My fingers teased the skin at the edge of her skirt as she pulled my bottom lip into her mouth and sucked, tearing a growl from my throat. My fingers stopped their progress and dug into the skin of her legs, pulling her tighter to me and deepening the torturous kiss.

  In response, her hands dropped to my shoulders, her nails close to breaking the skin through my t-shirt while my fingertips ghosted over the curve where her legs met her luscious ass. The tightly wound restraint I had been keeping snapped, and I swiftly stood, picking her up. Her legs instantly wrapped around my waist and I took a few long strides to the edge of my workbench where I set her down, then pressed hard against her core and ground my hips. Haven’s hands tugged at my shirt ripping it over my head as I ran my rough hands higher and higher up her soft thighs until I hit the sweet spot. She moaned just as my mouth came down, devouring her like the starving man I was. She was my drug of choice. Her taste, touch and smell I just couldn’t get enough of it. I couldn’t get enough of her, and I didn’t need it either. Haven would always be exactly what I craved.

&nb
sp; “Dude, snap out of it.” The voice broke me out of my reverie and yanked me back to the present. Goddamn it, I did it again. I’d been slipping into memories of Haven for weeks. I just couldn’t get her out of my head. It was fucked up, messy and it left me in a piss-ass mood for the rest of the day.

  Why’d I have to fall for a girl I can’t have? That’s how it always worked though, right? The guy loved the girl he couldn’t have. Then the poor bastard pined for her for all eternity and was unable love anyone like he loved her. He’d end up miserable and alone, simply because a relationship would be selfish and do more harm than good to the people they both loved. Scrubbing my hand down my face in an effort to wipe her from my thoughts, I knew something had to give. I didn’t know how much more I could take.

  “Dude, fuck off. Don’t you have some wrenches to turn?” I huffed as I pushed past Derek, my temporary mechanic, and walked out the front door of the workshop, pounding my boots on the pavement until I got to Haven’s car. I could almost guarantee there was nothing wrong with it since I spent two hours servicing it not long before we stopped sneaking around together. Something must have happened for her to have brought it in though. Normally, I’d have Derek, the young mechanic, look at it for me, but it was Haven’s car and I trusted nobody to touch it but me.

  I popped the hood and fucked around for a good forty-five minutes before I’d calmed down and ascertained nothing was wrong with the car. Now I was trying to figure out why the hell she’d brought it in, followed by Trip throwing around his balls and temper. I knew why he was pulling a power play. After finding out about Haven and I, he wasn’t real happy with the situation and for good reason. She was his little sister. I was his older brother’s best friend. It was a line guys didn’t cross, an unspoken code of sorts. Ordinarily, I’d put him in his place when he started walking around with his dick and a measuring tape in his hand, but I was on rocky ground with the boys as it was, so I was making no attempt to stir the proverbial pot. It was hard enough just trying to stay away from Haven, not hearing her voice or feeling her warm skin pressed against mine. It wasn’t just the explosive sex I missed either… I missed spending time with her. Fuck me! My balls had shriveled up and I was growing a fucking vagina.

  A noise from the front of the shop drew my attention to a guy twirling his keys around his finger while leaning against a big, dirty Ford Silverado. He had a bit of a cocky look about him that I was in no mood to humor.

  “What can I do for you?” I stopped in front of him and crossed my arms over my chest.

  “Full set of tires and a service.” He unfolded his ankles and pushed off the truck when I held out my hand for the keys.

  “Won’t be ready till late afternoon.” I let him know as I took the keys and bypassed him to take note of the tire size.

  “No problem, bud. Here’s my card. Just give me a call when she’s ready to go.” He flicked a business card out of his pocket and handed it to me before walking off in the direction of the café down the road. The guy clearly wasn’t from around here. He was an out-of-towner for sure; his truck yelled it, his clothes and demeanor screamed it, and if that wasn’t enough, the country boy accent did him in. Besides, I was in a foul mood and something about this guy annoyed me which I knew wasn’t fair, but all the same. I was in top form today. I hated the world and almost everyone in it. Except Haven.

  Fuck.

  By the end of the day, my mood had gone from bad to worse on account of a phone call from the school telling me Jaxson had gotten in a fistfight with another kid during lunch. Both boys weren’t seriously hurt. They’d just come away with a few scratches and bruises, but I was more than a little annoyed my boy was getting in fights. Neither of the boy was talking, so when I got home, I’d be pulling him aside and making sure he spilled his guts.

  I closed up the back roller doors, walked into the office and started filling out the last few invoices for the day. A small tap at the door about twenty minutes later had my heart racing. I knew who it was before I even saw her. That perfume had invaded my dreams more than once over the last few months. I’d know it anywhere. My head slowly came up and my eyes took her in longingly. I lapped up of every inch of her perfect form. My chest twinged with an ache that couldn’t be helped.

  Good God, I fucking missed her.

  “Jude.” Her almost silent whisper hit me right in the guts and I stood quickly to block out the memory which slammed into me.

  “Jude, I need you. I need you right now.” Her soft whimper dragged over me like nothing I’d ever felt before. The want in her voice as I pulled my head back from nibbling on her inner thigh drove me further over the edge. I settled my hips in the space between hers and slowly slid inside my own personal heaven.

  “Keys,” I mumbled, holding them out and trying not to think about grabbing her and telling her just how much I wanted her, and how goddamn badly I needed her. It was pointless. “Car’s fine. Be careful driving home. There’s supposed to be a storm soon.” My short tone left no room for conversation because Lord knew, I couldn’t stand in the same room as her for more than five minutes without losing my carefully strung together bravado.

  A guy could only fake it for so long. Wait, what? The longer she stood there, the further my façade slipped.

  “Oh, umm, thanks.” She fumbled over her words as I watched the walls she was so good at holding come up. That damn twinge in my chest tweaked again at the sight of it. I hated hurting her. I hated it with vengeance but it was better this way. I couldn’t betray my second family like that again. I wouldn’t risk them being upset at her. “What do I owe you?” she asked with steel in her words.

  “Nothing. It’s been taken care of.” I lied through my teeth. I never charged her or her brothers, but her stubborn ass wouldn’t accept me doing that. Still to this day, she wouldn’t. With my strength wavering, I needed to get out of the room or have her leave. I couldn’t stand it for another minute. “Right then. Take care, Haven.” I dismissed her as indifferently as I could manage and turned my back to her still standing across the counter.

  She took the keys from where I placed them on the countertop. A small sigh escaped her lips as she squeezed them in her hand tightly, and then walked to the office door, pausing for a second to look back at me. “Bye, Jude.” Her voice was quiet and she strolled away with another sliver of my heart. I turned back around after I heard the door catch, pretending not to watch her walk to her car. I shuffled a few papers around in an effort to stay put. When I saw her taillights glow and heard the turnover of the engine I built drive away, I let out the breath I was holding in and flopped down into my chair, my elbows on my knees and my head hanging low.

  Why the fuck did this still have to be so fucking hard?

  Impulsively, I stood, forcing my chair backward, slamming it into the filing cabinet behind me and knocking down a bunch of invoice books, pens and crap that were littering the space.

  “Motherfucker!” I yelled in frustration just as the cocky out-of-towner strolled in. I quietly cursed under my breath for losing my cool and dragged my hand down my face. Pulling my shit together, I got him squared away and sent him packing in his bullshit truck before stomping around and locking the place up for the night.

  By the time I arrived home and put dinner on for the boys, I was so tired the phone call from the school had slipped my mind. That was until the boys came walking in the door and I saw their faces—a black eye, a busted lip and a grazed cheek.

  “Bud, come here,” I called to Jaxson as he scuttled past toward the stairs that led up to the bedrooms. His head was hanging and his shoulders looked heavy.

  He shuffled over to where I was leaning against the kitchen counter and flopped down onto one of the black stools, dumping his backpack at his feet.

  “Look at me, Jax,” I told him gently. When his sad eyes collided with mine, my battered heart broke a bit more. “Want to tell me what happened?” His chin started to wobble and his eyes glossed over with tears. I reached my hand
out and squeezed his shoulder silently, letting him know I would wait for him to talk when he was ready.

  “Why’d Haven go away?” His little voice was so quiet I almost missed it.

  “I, well, I can’t… Haven had things to…” I bumbled around, looking for an excuse I could give him. Jaxson though wasn’t having a bar of it. Before I could come up with a believable story, he cut me off.

  “Don’t lie, Dad. You always told us not to lie.” He sniffed and looked me dead in the face, his voice growing louder. “You made her go away. You made her leave us.”

  This wasn’t how I expected our conversation to go. How the hell did he turn that around so fast?

  “I… I know you don’t understand and I don’t expect you too. It’s complicated, bug,” I explained half-assed. Jaxson normally hated when I called him bug, a nickname that stuck when he was a baby; he claimed he was too old for it, but he just stared at me with sadness shadowing his features.

  “It’s your fault we’re all sad, Dad. You hurt her,” he murmured before getting up and dragging his feet to his room. I was left standing there dumbfounded and feeling like he’d slapped me in the face. I never wanted to affect the boys, but one day they’d understand it was for the best. Somehow, Jaxon managed to hoodwink me with talk of Haven and the conversation I had planned about the fight at school was forgotten. I guessed I would try again later when he’d calmed down some.

  How the hell did my life get so motherfucking messy?

  “Stupid bastard,” I cursed and shook my head as I walked to the sink and drained the pasta that had been boiling on the stove. “You didn’t even think of anyone else before you went and got your dick wet, did you?” The hot water splashed up and scolded my forearm as I dropped the pot and the pasta spilt everywhere. I groaned and looked over my shoulder to the unopened jar of pasta sauce, knowing I had not one iota of damn patience left for anything. I badly needed a hot shower and a bottle of bourbon or two. Reaching over the counter, I picked up the phone and dialed.