Forbidden Love (Needle's Kiss Book 3) Read online

  Forbidden Love

  (Needle’s Kiss #3)

  Lola Stark

  Forbidden Love

  FORBIDDEN LOVE

  (Needle’s Kiss #3)

  Forbidden Love.

  All rights reserved. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any form without prior written permission of the publisher, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution, circulation or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s rights, and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.

  Lola Stark.

  Copyright © 2015 Lola Stark.

  Forbidden Love is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book either are from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, establishments, events, or location is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Cover design by LM Creations.

  Editing by Hot Tree Editing.

  Acknowledgments

  First and most importantly as always my small humans, for being what you have been and now are. It’s been a long hard road and it may never be smooth or without stepping stones, but it’s ours all the same.

  So many minds, talents, hearts and souls go into the making of a book and thanking them in this small section never seems enough, but here it is.

  Vanessa, you helped me more than I can ever put into words. The late night writing session, the pep talks, the assurances when I wanted to give up, the ass kicking and the love you gave were endless.

  Pebbles, you’re always in my heart, on my mind and just a message away whenever I need you. You’re my pretty rock, babe. Never to be replaced.

  Becky, every time you pull through for me. Not just slapping me with your red pen but telling me I can do it, building me up and reminding me there isn’t anything I can’t do. You’re invaluable and I hope to always have you at my side.

  Louisa, I couldn’t have asked for a better cover artist, designer and friend. You’re the sweetest chick I know and I’m damn lucky to be able to work with you. I’m so very proud of you for all you’ve accomplished this year, and I look forward to working with you for a long time to come. You’re fabulous!

  Sharnah, Bec and Cinta, you ladies are the ones who’ve kept me sane. A drink here, dinner there, words of encouragement when needed. You played your own roles in me finally getting this one on paper.

  The pretty penis… What to say here? Cheers to you for making sure I was never frustrated and always distracted.

  My Kiss it teamies. You ladies go above and beyond spreading the word and dragging new readers into our little cave. Each and every one of you are badass babes. The handful of girls who helped me stumble along the way, I can’t thank you enough.

  Bloggers far and wide, without your awesomesauce pimping skills and love for reading, I wouldn’t be where I am today. If you have shared a link, tweeted a teaser, clicked a cover or bragged about a book, you are a rock star.

  My readers, who shared, one-clicked, read, loved and reviewed. You have changed one family’s hopes and dreams with the simple click of a button.

  I’ll forever be indebted to you all.

  It’s with great pleasure and sadness all rolled into one that I give you all the final book in the Needle’s Kiss series.

  It’s been one hell of a ride, babes!

  This book is dedicated to my girl, Vanessa.

  For all the things you do, for all the moments you’re there and for all the ass you kick.

  For reminding me I am in charge of my own happily ever after.

  “We can’t do this here, sweetheart,” Jude whispered against my already swollen lips. Standing by the door to my nephew’s room, I was pressed tightly against Jude’s body. He’d come through the front door not a few moments ago and made a beeline upstairs to where I was hoping to sneak in a brief moment before being disturbed by anyone. My heart skipped a beat at the heat in his eyes as his hands held my hips tightly. Stolen moments was what we did best at this point. Not a soul knew we were secretly seeing each other.

  “Bathroom. I need you. I need you so badly, Jude,” I told him, my face and wandering hands making it pointedly clear I wasn’t going to wait.

  “Your brothers are downstairs and—fuck, don’t do that.” Jude’s groan echoed through the room as I ran my hand along the bulge in his jeans. I loved how quickly I could turn him on. “You’re killing me here, sweetheart.” Jude’s lips came down on mine in a crushing kiss that shot me from antsy to holy-fuck-bang-me-right-here-right-now kind of horny.

  “What the fucking hell is this?” Trip’s voice broke through our passionate lip lock and turned my blood ice-cold. Jude moved forward and stood just in front of me; a protective gesture that wasn’t necessary. My brothers wouldn’t hurt me, not in a thousand lifetimes. They wouldn’t hurt him either; I hoped. That thought cut through me as I stared at Mace and Trip, both all but shooting flames from their nostrils.

  “Fuck!” I sighed, knowing Hell was about to break loose if I couldn’t rein in the two egos who’d just caught us red-handed.

  “Wanna tell me what this shit is?” Trip scowled. I wasn’t worried about my loud-mouth brother. He was mostly talk. I was worried about the hurt look on Mace’s face though. It was directed straight at Jude and so piercing it was cutting through every other feeling soaring around the small hallway we were crowded in. I suddenly needed to expel every bit of what was bottled inside me. And I needed air. It was fucking stifling under the glare of my two older brothers. I only hoped they’d understand.

  “Mace, let me explain,” Jude said, ignoring Trip altogether. Mace looked from Jude to me and back at Jude. His face now void of any emotion. It was harder to see him shut down than it would have been if he’d become angry, hurt or even voiced some kind of emotion. With no words, he turned and walked down the stairs. Moments later, the front door clicked shut. The tightness in my chest turned into a cold rush of pain and piercing silence ensued. I put my hand on Jude’s arm only for him to look down at it, look at Trip and slowly peel my skin from his. He turned around and gave me a look that chilled my entire body. I knew that look. He was battling with a decision I was scared of. He didn’t know what he should do… and just like that he dropped his head.

  “Don’t,” I whispered with a hitch in my voice. The lump forming in my throat was making it hard to swallow.

  My heart sunk and I swear it shattered on the wooden floorboards at my feet when he turned his back to me and slipped quietly past a still angry Trip and conflicted Teeny.

  “He’s no good for you. What were you fucking thinking?” Trip yelled, cornering me in upstairs. I stared blankly at him, my feet cemented to the spot. A silent tear rolled down my cheek, warm in comparison to the rest of me. I couldn’t escape. Slowly, as Trip kept up his lecture, I let my heart go numb. Soaking up his words but not really hearing them, I took the lashing over what he and Mace just caught me doing.

  Finally, I snapped.

  “No.” I pushed the sound past my lips. “I… I need to go after him.”

  “Like fuck you will. He’s dead to us. You hear me, Haven? DEAD!” My brother sucked in a deep breath, the veins on his temples bulging and pulsing with rage. “I’m taking your ass home and you’ll goddamn fucking stay there.”

  “Don’t you say that!” I snapped out of my temporary paralysis and barked at him. “It’s
Jude, Trip. He’s our Jude.”

  “Fuck off he is,” Trip seethed. “He quit being anyone we know the moment he started taking advantage of you.”

  The way Trip just assumed what was going on hurt more than I could fathom. My heart almost beat out of my chest, anger replacing all other emotions. They couldn’t really blame Jude for everything. It takes two, as they say…

  My hand shot out and connected with my big brother’s cheek before I knew what I was doing. The sound of my palm slapping his face rang loudly in the slight space. “It wasn’t Jude who started this, Trip. Don’t you ever speak about him like that.” With those as my parting words, I ran downstairs and out the front door for much-needed oxygen and with a fractured heart.

  Haven

  I twisted my hands in my lap and stared at the white wall in front of me. I never would have thought I’d be here. Not in a lifetime did I think I’d be one of ‘those’ people. Sitting in a sterile room, the nausea closed in on me as quickly as the tears fell down my face.

  “Haven, can you tell me how long it’s been?” The plump woman in front of me asked, pushing her oversized glasses back up her nose.

  “Um, well, about six weeks I think,” I answered hollowly, fighting back against the urge to drop my shoulders and hang my head.

  “Not long then. I commend you for doing this. It takes a lot of guts to do what you’ve done. Not everyone can see through the denial and admit they can’t do it alone.” Her soft, supposedly calming voice felt like a judgement, no matter how many times I told myself it wasn’t. I cringed at my paranoia and shifted in my seat.

  He asked me to do this. I have to do this. I can’t let him down. I can’t be a failure at this too.

  I reminded myself, for what I was sure was the hundredth time since I rolled out of bed that morning; I was doing this for Jude. For me… it was what was best for me. I nodded at my silent pep talk and focused back on the woman talking and gesturing with her hands.

  “So, I’ll see you back here for your next appointment and we’ll get that course of action started,” she finished up.

  Robotically, I stood, shook her hand and wandered out of the building to my car. I started it but just sat. I focused on calming my unsteady hands and the cold sweat broken out on my skin. Two months have passed since I saw Jude. Two months and I was still broken. In fact, I was so far past humpty-dumpty that I was damn sure there would never be hope for me being put back together again.

  Once I gained control of myself, I drove over to the other side of town, purposely going the long way so I wouldn’t have to pass his garage. Jude made himself very clear when we stopped fooling around, and while I wanted to be in his life in any aspect, it hurt less to cut all ties. At least, I thought it did… until I started to slip again. I felt it coming, the waves of want crashing over me. The cold rush through my bloodstream and the screaming powerlessness at the craving.

  No matter how much time went gone by, I still wanted him—no needed him. The air was staler than it used to be, a bitter reminder of what I’d lost. Just the thought of seeing him made every suppressed emotion rush to the surface and crash over me like the high tide of the ocean current.

  Saliva rushed into my mouth and the tangy taste that always hit me once I’d gotten what I needed flooded my taste buds. My heart picked up speed and my eyes slid closed as I pulled my car over to the side of the road. It was a feeling only somebody with my history would understand.

  I took several long deep breaths in and out, holding onto the steering wheel with a white knuckled grip until it passed. A loud knock at the window had me jumping out of my skin. My hand went to my mouth and a startled noise came from my throat before I realized who it was.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” I grouched at Trip when I wound the window down. “You can’t go around scaring people like that. You’ll get shived or some shit.”

  Trip didn’t say a word, just stood there looking at my face with suspicion. His eyes seared through me while his mouth sat in a hard, straight line, made more serious by the twin snakebite piercings in his lips. Finally, he spoke, although harshly. “The fucking hell, Haven.” His sharp tone startling, it was my turn to stare openmouthed. I quickly registered that I was sitting in my car on the side of the road a few meters from my sister-in-law Scarlett’s tattoo parlor, where Trip, my second eldest brother worked. I hadn’t even realized I’d gotten that close. In fact, I was a little relieved I hadn’t ended up all the way there before that particular episode had hit me. It would have lead to a series of questions I didn’t want to answer.

  “Sorry, I umm. I… Why are you at my window?” My defenses kicked in and I played it cool trying to turn the tables on him so he’d be less suspicious. “You often go around scaring women?” I forced a fake laugh. I’d practiced that laugh a lot over the years. I knew I had it honed to a fine art.

  “Why’re you sitting in your car? Here?” he asked, crossing his tattooed arms over his chest. My youngest big brother could look menacing when he wanted to, and at that moment, he had the big-brother stance perfected. “What’s wrong, Haven?” His brow furrowed and he scanned my face looking for signs of emotion. I quickly pulled up my walls and schooled my features into indifference.

  Shut it down, Haven. Pull it in and shut it down.

  “Oh, I was coming to see you all and something was going on with my… umm… gearbox.” I quickly shoved the lie out of my mouth like it was gospel. His face evened out and he relaxed. Thank God, he bought it. I let out the breath I was holding and looked back up at him.

  “Right, take it to the garage. I’ll be down in twenty minutes to get you.” Giving me no opportunity to argue, he turned on his heel and swiftly walked back up the road toward Needle’s Kiss.

  I wiped the sweat beading on my brow with a clammy palm. “Fuck!” I yelled into the empty space around me. Of course that backfired. How stupid could I be? I make up a lie that was to do with cars… cars! The only mechanic our family ever went to was Jude. Jude, my brother’s best friend. Jude, the man I was hopelessly in love with. Hopelessly in love with and forbidden to be with.

  Not only had my brothers forbidden me to see him, but Jude had put the brakes on and put a stop to the fooling around we’d been partaking in. Before Mace and Trip had found out something was going on between Jude and I, we’d been sneaking around, stealing moments together wherever we could. A kiss here, some heavy petting there. When I would babysit his twin boys, Jaxson and Jordan, Jude would normally come home early and we’d end up a tangled mess of arms and legs. I clenched my thighs together at the thought of Jude between them. I so badly missed him. All of him, not just the amazing sex but the sweet, caring way he did everything. He looked like a rough hardass but he was far from it when you dug beneath the tough exterior and understood who he really was.

  I missed the boys too. I needed those boys, all three of them. They kept me anchored and stable. As wrong as it might be to rely on a man and kids to keep sane and grounded, it was the truth. They had been the reason I woke up every day. The reason I was waking up every day after that life altering night.

  Shaking off my thoughts, I pulled my big girl panties on and eased back out into the street, driving the few yards down the road to J.D’s Garage. Why’d I have to go and make up such a stupid excuse? Not only did I now have to see Jude, but once he looked at my car, he’d find nothing wrong with it and probably think I had lost it. Can anyone say stalker?

  “So fucking stupid. Let’s see if I can talk my way around this one.” My voiced ramblings kept my mind from truly embracing what I was about to do. I was going to see Jude. After all this time. Damn it all to hell.

  I rushed out the front of the garage breathing a sigh of relief. Jude wasn’t there. I’d walked in and come face to face with his new mechanic Rhet. Rhet was quiet yet rough around the edges, around my age with sandy blond hair and almost as many tattoos as Trip. I’d dropped my keys with him and asked for a full service on my car before hightailing it
out of there as fast as my Jimmy Choo’s could take me. Just a few steps to go and I’d be free and clear. Suddenly, large hands circled my waist as I plowed straight into a wall of human.

  “Shit.” A grunt sounded as my hands flew up looking for purchase. Just my luck I’d run smack bang into the one person I didn’t want to see. Unconsciously, I inhaled deeply, catching his signature smell of aftershave and grease. My eyes drifted shut and my legs began to shake.

  I can’t lose it now. I was so close to getting away unscathed.

  “Sorry,” he whispered, his hands gripping me tightly so I didn’t land on my ass. That one word bought back a rush of emotion and a memory I tried hard to block out.

  “Don’t do this, Jude,” I croaked out. “Don’t leave.”

  “I… we can’t, Haven. I can’t betray them like this,” he told me apologetically.

  “They don’t understand it. They can’t, but don’t let them drive us apart. I need you.” I gripped his arm stopping him from turning way. He looked down at me, his soft green eyes set with determination and vehemence.

  “I’m sorry.” He steeled himself, let me go and turned his back on me, walking away like it was the easiest thing in the world. I remained fixed on the spot and looking on. I didn’t want to believe he could. He’d come back. I knew it. I’d get him back. He was all I needed.

  “Haven.” Jude raised his voice just above a whisper.

  “Get your fucking hands off her.” Trip’s booming voice behind me had my back going ramrod straight.

  Spinning around, I pinned Trip with a glare and snapped, “Give it a rest, Trip. You sent me here! “

  “I didn’t send you here for Jude to put his goddamn hands on you,” Trip snarled back, not even looking at me, just glowering at Jude over my head.

  “I dropped my car off and ran into him on the way out. Literally. He was stopping me from falling on my ass, you dipshit.” With those words, I stepped around Trip and stomped off down the road to Scarlett’s parlor, cussing and grumbling under my breath the whole time.

  A few minutes later, I walked in the front doors of Needle’s Kiss and flopped down on the sofa, throwing my purse in the corner.